Being the Person We Were Always Meant to Be

The answers we are looking for in life are within us. Take for example a tree shading us from the sun. The tree originally came from a seed within the seed it knew how to grow into a shade tree. The seed did need essential ingredients, sun light and water to keep growing. With the essential ingredients the seed matured and grew into a shade tree.  Similarly, if people keep growing and learning answers come to us, consequently,  we mature and grow into the person we are meant to be.  The danger comes when we stop growing and learning. Really counselling is all about getting back on track in order for us to continue maturing and growing again. Somehow we unlearn what we knew at birth. For example, children are born as spiritual beings, the younger they are the more spiritual they are. Children, don’t hold grudges they forgive naturally, they live perfectly in the moment. They are not afraid to be themselves or look foolish in front of others. Somehow as adults we get derailed and somehow we go off track. Some of the reasons we can stop growing can be excessive anger, addiction, trauma, depression or anxiety. We can shut down, we stop trusting others, and we can end up in isolation and depression. The reality in most cases is we need to re-learn what we already knew at birth and as a child.


Similarly, coming into our first individual session or group session can be extremely, frightening. Most people bring in an extensive history into a group or individual session. Group or individual counselling can re-generate old fears in themselves. People come for help which can lead to some possible reactions such as having difficulty talking about their reactions and feelings towards people who have harmed them or what they have done to others. In the mind of the client, even minor slights evoke past experiences of callous neglect, or deliberate cruelty. These distortions are not easily corrected by experience, since in a lot of cases the person tends to lack the verbal or social skills for resolving this conflict. For example, who has not been singled out in a classroom by a teacher to answer a question they didn’t know. Group therapy can be even more fearful. Being vulnerable in front of a group of people and just fear of people can just add more fear to getting help. However, in order to get back on track in life we need to go against our fears and insecurities and allow others to help us.

The derailments of fear and putting up walls stops growth, consequently, we can start thinking of ourselves as a victim. Nothing will hold you back more in life than this single thought. I am a victim. The idea of victimization is a sure sign of self imposed limitations and a very limited perception in life in general. However, in some extreme cases some people have been victimized. Regardless, once a person heals from their pain there is no real victimization.

It is essential for people to remember that we are social beings who need to have strong relations with people in order to be healthy and continue growing. Just as the tree needs water and sunlight to grow, we need to allow other people in our lives in order for us to be healthy and keep developing and evolving. Our hurts and pain must be dealt with in order for us to be back on track in life. In the case of people who struggle with trauma, addiction, extreme anger, depression or anxiety, we have to go against our fears our insecurities in order, to start growing again. Seeking help for our problems just puts us back on track in order to progress, accomplish and be the person we were always meant to be.














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