“The Success Principles” written by Jack Canfield states that we only complain about things we can change, not things we can’t change like gravity. The fact is gravity just exists so we accept it. We know that complaining about it will not change anything. The point is we complain about things we can change, the real resistance to change is when we have to change ourselves. We can change and get a better job, develop a more loving relationship with our spouse or live in a better neighborhood. . If I want to change the question should be what do I change. The real problem is we have to first get used to the idea that if I want change to happen, I have to take a risk and change myself.
The defenses that can be built around this topic of change goes really deep. “I’m not taking the blame for your mistakes”. This type of thinking can be the foundation of a really negative and pessimistic view of the world. Resistance to change can become a way of life. We can actually surround ourselves with people who support our blaming and self pity, these people are actually just like ourselves. Birds of a feather flock together. When we blame others for our problems we become a victim of circumstance, we unknowingly go into a state of learned helplessness, to the point were we just give up. Consequently, depression sets in; actually we creat a downward spiral, which we may never recover from.
Courage and real inward change is based on our ability to stand our ground and rely on our own abilities to learn to replace complaining, with taking the action that is needed to achieve the desired outcomes. Redirecting the change inward is essential. This is what truly successful people do. If we truly want to live a better life is it no magic carpet ride that will get us there, without hard work on ourselves. The magic carpet ride thinking is just a lot of fantasy?
For further reading on this topic see "Excuses or Facing Our True Selves"
http://www.robertgoulard.com/
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Reducing the Risk of Sexual Violation
Today we live in a society where there is so much confusion over sexual values and behaviors. This whole topic of sexual values and morals in families can become really confusing at times, since nurturing in families consists of hugging, holding, cuddling, and massage. The research by Peter Levine a leading expert in trauma is startling, a large percentage of children are molested by older siblings and teenage babysitters, it is actually five times higher than parental incest. The average age a child is violated is 8.2 years old; this is a special time when children are very curious.
Unknowingly, parents can give there children conflicting messages and perhaps can even encourage children to do things they might not want to. For example, it wouldn’t be unusual for parents to teach there children to always be nice to people, or don’t hurt people’s feelings, don’t be rude, or if someone speaks to you, you must answer them, making children think that they are responsible for taking care of other people, is another common mistake, don’t question authority and always obey the babysitter can also be taken out of context sometimes. Consequently, many children experience the deep wound of sexual trauma which can be very confusing, especially if a perpetrator was someone the child was supposed to trust.
It’s really surprising how easily children can cave into adult’s requests. A child can think that they are mean, disobedient, or they are being disrespectful if they don’t go along with adults requests. Children must also be taught to say no to adults, especially to some people in authority. The main thing to remember about sexual violation is a person or child should seek professional help. Also it's important for a child to know that a parent will believe them, if a crisis like this ever happens.
http://www.robertgoulard.com/
Unknowingly, parents can give there children conflicting messages and perhaps can even encourage children to do things they might not want to. For example, it wouldn’t be unusual for parents to teach there children to always be nice to people, or don’t hurt people’s feelings, don’t be rude, or if someone speaks to you, you must answer them, making children think that they are responsible for taking care of other people, is another common mistake, don’t question authority and always obey the babysitter can also be taken out of context sometimes. Consequently, many children experience the deep wound of sexual trauma which can be very confusing, especially if a perpetrator was someone the child was supposed to trust.
It’s really surprising how easily children can cave into adult’s requests. A child can think that they are mean, disobedient, or they are being disrespectful if they don’t go along with adults requests. Children must also be taught to say no to adults, especially to some people in authority. The main thing to remember about sexual violation is a person or child should seek professional help. Also it's important for a child to know that a parent will believe them, if a crisis like this ever happens.
http://www.robertgoulard.com/
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