The process of change can be very difficult, especially if your past has been littered with failures and negative consequences, and even successful people can have adjustment problems, if they have lost their ability to cope with present-day stressors. Many of them, for instance Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, to name a few, have met an early demise. Successful or not, they have in common the mistaken belief that someday, somehow, something will happen and then they’ll be happy. This is sheer fantasy. We must come to realize and accept that the only way to change is to change ourselves. Not facing up to the trials and tribulations in life by masking our pain and emotions with drugs, alcohol, or sex, is all self- destructive behavior. Relying on alcohol, drugs, food, sex, material possessions or any other external gratification will only bring pain and suffering to us and all our loved ones. All of our hard work directed at obtaining a better life is fruitless if we don’t re-direct our energy. A lot of people end up feeling depressed, angry and simply just give up. In the end they conclude that hard work doesn’t pay. This creates and feeds into the self-destructive abyss of addiction. People know how to work hard, but they have to learn to re-direct their energy towards allowing other people into their lives, to learning to practice humility, patience, perseverance, and determination. This type of hard work will pay off in huge dividends in time, in the form of improved self-worth, increased closeness with loved ones and an abundance of true freedom and success in their lives.
Working on positive human attributes will empower me to change into the person I was always meant to be. In addition, I will eventually discover what makes me truly happy and how to transform myself into a person who honestly feels good from the inside out, not the from the outside in. We have to stop relying on our environment to provide relief from pain and frustration and start taking control of our own actions and reactions in order to achieve the quality of life and happiness we all deserve. Blaming others, wallowing in self-pity and playing the role of the victim are behaviours that eventually lead to addiction. Taking ownership for our actions and pointing the finger at ourselves is the exact opposite to the thinking processes of an addict. The result is a major shift in thinking.
. Major changes in my own life have not come easily. From a lifestyle of total reliance on drugs and alcohol for happiness and fulfillment, today my days are spent being there for others, and being accountable to someone else for my actions,….a very dramatic reversal. However, it has been the most rewarding change I have ever made in my life. Comments are welcome.
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