Intense pain can be a real motivating factor in the change process. Extreme emotional distress can force us from being unsure if we want to do the work involved in order to change .or am I willing to do whatever it takes, in order to turn my life around. Reaching a pain threshold is the real motivator for change. This means that pain is so intense that you know you have no other choice but to change. The option to stay the way you are is less strong than wanting to change. For example, I remember the last time I relapsed, I fell off the wagon and as a result a major incident happened. Consequently, the pain and humiliation of this incident motivated me by eliminating the choice to ever go back to living like my, previous alcoholic lifestyle. This is the greatest pain. This type of pain comes from the inside. Knowing that I failed to live up to my own standards is the greatest pain.
In the process I made an important association. The pain in making the change outweighed the pain of not changing. Consequently, the pain turned into a driving force. It forced me to conform and surrender to my way of doing things. It created such a state of urgency, which was so intense that it compelled me to follow through with action. Consequently, I had no choice but to confront my fears and insecurity associated with changing my lifestyle.
The surrendering made me realize that the only option was to move ahead in life. My old lifestyle had to end. Deep down I knew the only option for me at this point in time was to change. There might not be another opportunity given to me. The stage was set; I became more active in seeking counseling. I had stepped out into the unknown. I started socializing more, even though it was extremely hard for me to do this without the aid of alcohol or drugs. How could I possibly stay sober long term if I had so much fear with socializing? I started taking the action to turn my life around even though it took a lot of hard work and perseverance. The saying from Nike “Just Do it” became the story of my life.
Eventually I started helping troubled youth, worked on my relationships with my loved one’s, went back to university and eventually I met my wife. We eventually married and now I’m retired from Chryslers and am currently, running my own private practice. The life I lead today is like a dream come true. Out of all the pain and humiliation emerged a different person with a much healthier lifestyle. This last relapse happened over 26 years ago the change was a result of a huge wake up call which resulted in intense pain.
It’s the pain that I felt then the humiliation and disgrace that forced me to not want to go back into my addiction. I had to rebuild myself. My last relapse was a catalyst and a motivator to change. I never forgot the negative feelings I felt after that relapse. When you’re going through that kind of devastation it’s hard to believe that anything good can come out of it at the time. However, when one door closes I learned that a new and better door opens in time. There is always something good that comes out of pain and hurt if we persevere and work through it. We have to hurt enough to be ready to change your life and become healthy and happy. If we can re direct and channel the energy in pain, it can be used as an extremely powerful force to create change in our life.
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