“The Success Principles” written by Jack Canfield states that we only complain about things we can change, not things we can’t change like gravity. The fact is gravity just exists so we accept it. We know that complaining about it will not change anything. The point is we complain about things we can change, the real resistance to change is when we have to change ourselves. We can change and get a better job, develop a more loving relationship with our spouse or live in a better neighborhood. . If I want to change the question should be what do I change. The real problem is we have to first get used to the idea that if I want change to happen, I have to take a risk and change myself.
The defenses that can be built around this topic of change goes really deep. “I’m not taking the blame for your mistakes”. This type of thinking can be the foundation of a really negative and pessimistic view of the world. Resistance to change can become a way of life. We can actually surround ourselves with people who support our blaming and self pity, these people are actually just like ourselves. Birds of a feather flock together. When we blame others for our problems we become a victim of circumstance, we unknowingly go into a state of learned helplessness, to the point were we just give up. Consequently, depression sets in; actually we creat a downward spiral, which we may never recover from.
Courage and real inward change is based on our ability to stand our ground and rely on our own abilities to learn to replace complaining, with taking the action that is needed to achieve the desired outcomes. Redirecting the change inward is essential. This is what truly successful people do. If we truly want to live a better life is it no magic carpet ride that will get us there, without hard work on ourselves. The magic carpet ride thinking is just a lot of fantasy?
For further reading on this topic see "Excuses or Facing Our True Selves"