Perception and Trauma

How we perceived the terrorism during the Sept. 11 attack on the world trade centre or how we percieve traumatic events in our real lives there are similarities. For example, when we watched the attack on the world trade centre, people were glued to the television set, they tuned out all their filtering mechanisms and tried to absorb meaning and understanding of the event solely through the television. The news media always sensationalizes the news graphically. Everyone had questions and were looking for answers. The point is that people tried to make sense of this event through the television instead of a good parent, a priest, rabbi or other reliable people they could have talked to. Trauma is stored visually in the brain; consequently, the images assert influence on how we perceive the world and other people in it. The media has a great influence on our lives. However, when we talk to other people we educate ourselves, learn to trust other people, and eventually we can process traumatic events. I’m using the terrorism to illustrate trauma, however, no matter what the trauma is whether it be domestic violence, childhood issues, or loss of a loved one, it is essential to have good people to talk to. The benefits are limitless.

Trust

When breaches of trust with other people happen, we can mistakenly think that we can’t trust anyone. Consequently, we become unapproachable and we can come across as cold towards other people. However, the real truth is we can’t distinguish between the people we can trust and the people we can’t trust. The un-resolved hurt and pain is actually a barrier between you and people. In a lot of cases people who have been hurt are confused as to why they treat people the way they do. The real damage is our close relationships with the people we love are effected. It’s the hurt, breaches of trust and trauma that prevent us from having close relationships with them. This information is important to know since sharing being honest about ourselves and making attempts to trust others again will in time heal us from our hurt and pain. Dealing with the pain is extremely hard but worthwhile in the long term. Life is fair in one sense, we can all be happy in life if we have the ability to allow people to be close to us. Breaches of trust, pain and hurt can prevent and be a barrier to a happy in life.

Tackling Depression

Coping strategies of depressed people are avoidance, inactivity, over analyzing and thinking about situations too much. These coping strategies typically reinforce and promote a vicious cycle of depression in a person’s life. These characteristic patterns of behavior prevent people from taking action in their lives to address problems that could ultimately have a positive effect on them. With perseverance and support from other good people, we can develop the courage to break the destructive cycle of depression, inactivity, and helplessness. In time we prove to ourselves that we do have control over our current situation. Consequently, empowerment to a better life has begun.

Don't let fear control your life

Centuries ago an Chinese Philosopher said “To know and not to act is not to know”. Without action awareness and understanding are not enough. It takes a lot of courage in order for us to take our first step to turn our lives around. The real truth is, taking action with a problem, is to take us out of our comfort zone. This creates a new problem fear of the unknown. The greatest barrier to success is fear. When we are moving forward and making progress, it’s okay and normal to feel uncomfortable.
The important thing to remember is don’t let fear control your life.

Attitude and Outlook

Blessed are those that expect nothing, for they shall never be disappointed.
-Alexander Pope

This quote reminds me of Mother Teresa when she walked through the streets of Calcutta. She wasn’t saying “this is awful, there is nothing I can do to help these people”. She was not paralyzed with fear. If she would have thought like this, she would have been unable to help the people that lived their in extreme poverty. The real question is ”Am I thinking positive and see set backs as temporary”. Or do I have a negative way of thinking and see setbacks, helplessness and failure as the norm. Positive thinking is extremely empowering and powerful

Emotions

The road of life has many detours. There is no doubt that our thoughts and emotions if not kept in check can affect our quality of life on a daily basis. It’s when we get locked onto one emotion especially a negative emotion that we get detoured from enjoying our life today. It’s important to view taking on are defects of character as a challenge and not as a threat or a personal attack to our self worth as a person. This is how we empower ourselves to change.

Negative Emotions

Our emotional state can be affected by fear and deep seated anger. It can be really hard to get to the root cause of our hurt that caused the anger and resentment in the first place. It’s easy to blame other people for the hurt, resentment; however, in a lot of cases the truth is just the opposite. In reality the anger, resentment is usually directed toward ourselves. I trusted someone who betrayed me. I didn’t see this coming is an example. This whole scenario creates a destructive cycle that is very hard to break. Awareness is the first step.

Staying in the "moment"

Staying in the moment takes a lot of self discipline. Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of our emotional state. Actually when we learn to discipline ourselves to stay in the moment our emotional state becomes calmer.
As an exercise for today let’s try and focus only on the here and now and look at the past and present as a distraction to staying in the moment. Feedback is welcome.

Attitude

Having issues that affecting our everyday life that control us day to day can actually ruin our quality of life on a daily basis. Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself myself. Are things really as hard as I’m making them out to be? Is there more attached to this problem than their really needs to be? Am I just causing myself to be really upset? Is this the time and place to deal with this upsetting issue?
Perhaps what has happened in your life was meant to be. The event happened for a reason and was meant to teach us something or perhaps it can’t really be explained. However, it happened for a reason. This would lead you to have no choice but to accept it and forget it for now. Recognize what is in your life right now in the moment. See this as reality be present and perhaps in the moment answers start coming to you. If you really discipline to work on this a change process takes place in time. We can develop into a more relaxed and calm person.

How to avoid fear and anxiety

Taking mental breaks from anxiety and stress is critical. Everything that is important seems like it demands attention right now. In addition, at the first sign of anything going wrong we can instinctively go into fear. This is the first step before going into anxiety, burnout and having panic attacks. The feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and desperation can just add more fuel to the fear and anxiety. In these times we need to remember that we can only do one thing at a time. The real truth is the only thing that is actually real is what is in front of us in the moment. This reminder will defuse the fear and ensure you live everyday to its fullest. It takes discipline and perseverance to overcome our defects of character.

Anxiety and Fear

Everybody experiences anxiety and fear. These are primitive emotions associated with the flight or fright response to perceived danger. It’s when this mechanism does turn off the adrenaline from the flight or fight response eventually wears down the central nervous system, thus causing anxiety excessive fear and panic attacks. The most important thing to remember about anxiety is how to consciously take a break from the anxiety. Be aware of the things you do that lessen the perceived anxiety. This will give your body a much needed break from the fear and anxiety. I hope this answers your questions.

Anxiety

A lot of times when we have anxiety for as long as we can remember we might have to look at other issues such as childhood trauma, or perhaps long term drug or alcohol use. The anxiety can be a symptom to something else. Since people experience life events differently each person needs to be assessed individually by a trained professional. Regardless recovering from the anxiety will take a lot of perseverance and determination to get better.

Panic Attacks

There are a lot of people who suffer from fear anxiety and panic attacks. This problem originates from the flight and flight response, however, in a person suffering from panic attacks the flight or fight response doesn’t turn off since the person is constantly in fear. Consequently, the person suffering from the panic attack wears down the central nervous system. It can be classified as a form of a nervous breakdown. This is were the panic attack and fear originates from.

Learned Helplessness

Changing beliefs and understanding our patterns of thinking doesn’t change overnight. It takes time to make the necessary changes in our life. Moving from being passive in life to equating hard work on our defects and empowering ourselves to becoming authors of our own life is a process. In the past I have mentioned resistance or barriers to change. Resistance to change can be due to learned helplessness. This can be a coping mechanism which can cause a person to feel completely helpless to change their circumstances in life for the better. The result of learned helplessness is severe depression and extremely low self worth. It is extremely important to get to the root of our problems in order to reach our potential in life.

Negative Thinking Leads to Stress

Stress worry and anxiety simply come from thinking negative things about the future. This fear and insecurity comes from thinking about things we don't want to happen to us. If we intensely focus on the moment we will find peace and freedom. In order to over come our defects of character and get to a higher level of spiritual awawreness with other people it takes a lot of hard work. However, as a result of our discipline and effort stress worry and anxiety become short lived and no longer control our lives. Working on staying in the moment takes a lot of discipline however, the peace and freedom you get from it make the effort and hard work worth it.

Fear and Anxiety

This destructive cycle of fear, anxiety and panic attacks move in a circular fashion, one triggering the other. Often times, the person suffering from personality issues often identify anxiety as the major source of their distress. It seems that, for whatever reason, most people find it easier to admit to feeling anxious as opposed to being angry, controlling or being traumatized. Fear, anxiety and panic attacks have deeper psychological root that a lot of people just can't resolve. Consequently their lives are controlled by fear and anxiety.

Women and Job Equality

The need for social and legal, justice has been expressed for centuries in one form or
another. It has been called upon to give adults the right to work and children the right not to
work. Specific concrete steps must be taken to alter discriminatory environments and
Promote the principles of fairness and equality. This paper will introduce affirmative action as a remedy to the gross inequalities inflicted upon women in the workforce by ( 1 ) examining the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, ( 2 ) exploring job equity and social goals ( 3 ) examining job equity programs ( 4 ) examining how to put designated groups into leadership positions
Examination of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
The Royal Commission on the Status of Women
The Royal Commission on the status of women was reported in 1970. Four underlying principles were stated in the introductory section; the first principle was that women should be free to choose whether or not to take employment outside their homes. It recognized women's double role, noted the validity of both sectors of it, and gave women the right to autonomous decisions about their choices. The second principle stated that the care of children is a responsibility to be shared by the mother father and society. The third principle was that society has a responsibility for women because of pregnancy and child birth, and special treatment related to maternity will be necessary, recognition of women's biological specificity and its value. Finally, the report specifically noted in the fourth principle the existence of discrimination and the need for affirmative action in order to counteract its consequences: in certain areas women will for an interim period, require special treatment to overcome the adverse effects of discriminatory practises ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ).
The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
The employment equity act was legislated by the Mulroney government in response to a November 1984 recommendation of the Royal Commission on Equity in Employment. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms contains two sex-equality provisions, however there are three sections 15(1 ), section 15(2 ). Subsection ( 1 ) and section 28.
Section 15 ( 1 ): Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ).
Section 15 ( 2 ). Subsection ( 1 ): Does not preclude and law program of activity that has as its object the amelioration of conditions for disadvantaged individuals or groups including those that are disadvantaged because of race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ).
Section 28: Notwithstanding anything in this Charter, the rights and freedoms referred to in it are guaranteed to male and female persons ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ).
However, there are two significant limitations on this mandate. In the first place, it applies only to legislation and not to everyday relationships, many but not all of which are governed by the non discrimination provisions in federal and provincial human rights codes. Secondly, the Charter nowhere defines "equality" which leaves the task of resolving any disagreements that may arise about meaning and practical application of these two new Charter sex-equality provisions with the courts ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ).
The importance of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms arises from the fact that they are fruits of historical struggles against women's rights. Therefore, they represent a certain Canadian consensus regarding the values to be promoted and a common norm to be observed through concerted actions among the Canadian people. Similarity, the fight for fairness in dealing with child labour can be unilaterally compared to the women's movement to achieve equality in the workforce in Canada. Although the fight against child labour will not be won through legislation, it certainly cannot be won without it. Child labour laws are essential to deal with the worst forms of child work where they exist and provide minimum levels of protection where child labour is unavoidable. Such laws play a catalytic and supportive role in efforts to establish more humane order and in prodding society to give the child the best it has to offer
( Bequele, Myers, 1995 ). The Charter of Rights and Freedoms has forced women's rights to be recognized especially since 1984. Despite the Charter gross violations of women's rights in the workplace, is a fact of life. Without proper monitoring and enforcement the charter is simply a useless piece of paper. Without proper monitoring and enforcement, this valuable piece of legislation is without any real authority and still leaves women without any protection from exploitation in the workforce. For this reason the arguments against affirmative action are inconsistent with democracy and social justice.
Historically, there has been a shift in emphasis of discrimination as an intentional and individual matter to an intentional feature of institutionalized corporate behaviour. The sad part of this is that prior to 1984, historically, women had to behave as men in order to fit into the male dominated society. Weight and height restrictions were commonly enforced by some shops prior to the 1980's ( Daly, 1999 ).
Due to historic systematic discrimination of organizations and sensitivity to diversity efforts, women have been excluded from top leadership positions in organizations. In Canada, equity in the workforce is every body’s right, women have been excluded from top leadership positions in organizations. Equity in the workplace is everybody's right, women should be established as leaders in organizations to ensure the Canadian Charter of Rights.
Job Equity and Social Goals
Other justifications for job equity programs are to promote public welfare. Due to past discrimination, a high correlation between race and poverty now exists. Today women, on average, earn only about 65 percent of what men earn. And while women's union membership has increased in the past few years, women still make up only 40 percent of all unionized workers Their jobs tend to remain concentrated in the clerical, sales, and service sectors ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ). Women have always been systematically excluded from better paying and more prestigious jobs, they have become impoverished. This impoverishment has led to a lack of self respect, resentment, social unhappiness and crime.
Another negative development has been an increase in the number of jobs women are expected to accomplish. Susan McDaniel, her examination of the changing Canadian family, shows not only how labour-force participation has resulted in additional work for most women, but also how there has been no corresponding reduction in domestic labour. Many of the new recruits into the workforce are women ( Burt, Code, Dorney, 1993 ). Public welfare, therefore, must be promoted with special education and employment opportunities targeted towards women.
Statistics show that jobs are in fact distributed by sex. Whether we compare average incomes, proportional representation in the highest economic positions, or proportional representation in the lowest economic positions, women are not equal to white males, nor have the last few years seen a narrowing of the racial and sexual gaps ( Ferrell & Fraedrich,1994 ). The principles of distributive justice should be used to eliminate these criteria from all job positions, particularly leaders. Discriminating by sex is contrary to the employment equity act.
Women do not have equal job opportunities. Traditional hiring practises have limited the number of women allowed to pursue leadership positions. Prejudice has been primarily taken and practised by white males who evaluate job applicants ( Ferrell & Fraedrich, 1994 ). The second goal of job equity is to neutralize conscious and unconscious bias so that women would have equal access to lead in business.
Job Equity Programs
In order to rectify past discrimination, many companies have instituted job equity programs. They were designed to achieve a higher representation of designated groups that are currently under represented. In order to rectify the effects of past discrimination, many employers have instituted equity programs designed to achieve a more representative distribution of minorities and women within the firm by giving preference to women and minorities ( Ferrell & Fraedrich, 1994 ).
An acceptable job equity program must include good faith efforts in order to correct deficiencies and to increase minorities and women at all levels and segments of the workforce. Under utilization would be defined as fewer minorities and women in a particular job classification than would be reasonably expected according to their availability.
Some people would criticize the fact that an institution is discriminatory when a minority group is under represented. Discrimination only exists when we know that a specific instance exists. The problem with this criticism is that it is impossible to know whether a specific individual was discriminated against or not ( Ferrell & Fraedrich, 1994 ). People compete for jobs and promotions. There are many chance factors involved, how interviews happen to see them, who their competitors happen to be, how this person happened to perform in critical moments. When a minority individual loses in this competitive process there is no way of knowing if the individual's loss was due to competition for the job, or is a systematic discrimination. The only possible way of knowing if there is a systematic discrimination, is by looking at the whole group of minorities. If a minority group regularly loses out in the competition process in which their abilities match that of their competitors, non minority group, we can conclude that the process is systematically discriminatory.
Compensatory justice, implies that people have an obligation to compensate those whom they intentionally and unjustly wronged ( Ferrell & Fraedrich, 1994 ). Designated groups have not been traditionally considered for leadership positions. However, now programs are being set up for preferential treatment to provide compensation for their wrong doing. Although this may seem logical, there is opposition to compensatory justice. The argument is that compensation should only be given to those individuals who were actually discriminated against in the past. Since this type of equity program usually benefits all members of a minority group, it is unfair. Some people believe these programs would hinder every white male regardless of whether he himself specifically discriminated against someone in the past or not. In essence, the argument is people who must pay for these injuries to minorities are usually not the ones who inflict them.
In favour of Equity Programs is Martin Redish. He writes: "It must be argued that whether or not the ( white males ) of this country have themselves practised in the acts of discrimination, they have been the beneficiaries conscious or unconscious of a fundamentally racist society. They thus may be held independently liable to suppressed minorities for a form of enrichment ( Redish, 1972 ).
Women and minorities have been systematically discriminated against for years and deserve retribution for these injustices. Groups of women and other groups of minorities who are always at risk of discriminatory practises in organizations, are very aware that very specific concrete steps must be taken to alter discriminatory environments and promote the principles of fairness.
How to Put Designated Groups into Leadership Positions
Due to history and sensitivity issues, many certain principles and diversity efforts are ignored. This section is devoted to a 5 step procedure that will put women into leadership positions ( Morrison, 1992 )..
( 1 ) Discover the problems in your organization by collecting information. Statistics on promotions, salaries and bonuses can be obtained from company records to determine if certain women have been discriminated against. Survey, focus groups, individuals and experiences can expose subtle differences in getting access to developmental opportunities and being fairly evaluated by supervisors. A combination of statistics and perceptions will help target problems. An investigation of the organization should be done by a diverse team represented by women that serve in all functions and levels of organizations, including white males. The team might decide and an ethics consultant might also be helpful ( Morrison, 1992 ).
( 2 ) Strengthen upper management commitment to diversity efforts. Commitment from top executives must exist. The finding from the investigation usually increases upper management's commitment because now they are aware the problem exists. Awareness is the first step.
( 3 ) Select practises to fit a balanced strategy. This step involves picking diversity practises that are strategically effective for all organizations. There are three elements. The first element is education. Making employees aware of the value of diversity. Helping women obtain skills, experiences and credentials essential for promotions is important. Training programs, rational assignments, mentors, performance feedback tools should be extensively used ( Morrison, 1992 ).
A second element of diversity is enforcement. The need to reward and reinforce the education that is taking place. Awareness by itself is not enough. In order to change behaviour, incentives must be set up to change how employees treat each other. Merit, pay criteria selection and promotion procedures will help encourage employees to devote more time and energy to employment equity goals.
The third element involves exposing managers to talented non-traditional. This way, managers are shown false stereotypes of women because they haven't had much contact with them. Recruitment practises for jobs can provide exposure to women at every level where diversity efforts are aimed. Executive levels where key management positions are filled with women are essential role models. Since women have not been represented in society's prestigious positions, women have no role models in order to motivate them to compete for such positions as young white males have ( Ferrell & Fraedrich, 1994 ). Getting to know and like a non-traditional can make senior management for diversity and can enhance education efforts and help enforce policies for diversity. The mix of practices selected in our diversity effort should give non traditional managers an appropriate level of challenge that will stimulate a continuous learning. Motivation and adequate recognition and support should sustain the non-traditional over the long term. Imbalances seem to be a problem with these three elements. This may explain why non-traditional with high potential seem to burn out before they have reached their full potential( Morrison, 1992 ).
( 4 ) Demand results and revisit goals. What gets measured gets done. Simply monitoring is not enough. The Canadian, government requires companies to meet Job Equity guidelines. An organization might also look at increased representation in key functional areas such as senior management positions. An organization might keep a close eye on certain high potential women to be sure they are getting appropriate and outside training.
A model organization would use personal statistics, information about employee satisfaction with work and career. Prospects and other aspects of organizations should be collected to go purely beyond a statistical description of multicultural organizations. Demanding results and revisiting goals set forth for diversity is essential. There is no substitute for hard numerical evidence ( Morrison, 1992 ).
( 5 ) Use building blocks to maintain momentum. This step involves capitalizing on characteristics of an organization to encourage continued success in a diversity effort. For example, an organization with a strong sense of job rotation of developing managers would use this same rotation to develop managers in job diversity.
Another way to use building blocks is to publicize success that has been achieved in the diversity effort. One example is a manager who sends out a report every two or three months and reminds people of the diversity effort and details the progress that has been made. Building on diversity means that progress is being made with women. Putting them in prestigious positions may represent a head start with dealing with employees, customers, vendors and partners on a global basis ( Morrison, 1992 ).
Conclusion
After four decades of economic, political and social changes, women are by no means equal partners with men in economic or family life. Women are still primarily responsible for providing or finding child care and taking care of domestic chores. Thus most women's economic fortunes still depend far too much on men's fortunes ( Albelta, Tilly, 1997 ). According to Professor Daly it's the lenses people wear that cloud society’s view of women and how women view themselves. Women's work is never recognized, in politics Hilary Clinton and Kim Cambel are just fill in's until they are replaced by other white male politicians.
Personally my experience at Chryslers for the last years has taught me that affirmative action, although may not be the total answer to women's problems, it is partial solution. The aggressive pursuit of diversity goals consistent with job equity programs has established women in non traditional jobs. Hopefully this will eventually break the old boys club in top management and will allow women in. Furthermore, the principles of compensatory and distributive justice along with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, makes it illegal and immoral to discriminate against women. 

Addiction and the Economy

Currently, addiction is on the upswing fueled by the pressures from our economic downturn’ says Howard Mettiner, President and CEO of Phoenix House the nations largest non profit alcohol and drug abuse treatment centre in the United States. When people loose their homes, their savings, and their pensions, they often lose their self respect. In fact, workers can actually go through grief reactions similar to bereavement particularly if they have been unemployed a long time, have dependents, have lost relationships and had little notice of job loss. Too often people escape into substance abuse and addiction. In hard economic times, we’re seeing the dark side of optimism. The addiction or the mental illness has a deeper effect on people, consequently, it’s harder for counselors to provide hope in order to motivate their clients to change.
 

Couple's Communication

Communication amongst couples is commonly poor when a climate of fear and mistrust is perpetuated through criticism, placating, blame, and scapegoating. In these circumstances the communication can become highly reactive, attacking, and critical. This leads over time to withdrawal, loss of hope, and marital dissolution. My main approach to counseling couples is to help improve communication and identify issues and resolve problems that hinder open honest communication.
Sometimes simply changing the form of communication from "you" to "I" messages, couples can drastically improve their communication. Couples who are used to blaming, frequently begin messages with or include the word you in their messages. The word you is an accusation and can put the receiver on the defensive. To counter attack, the receiver typically responds by also blaming in return. Beginning sentences with "I" forces the sender to not only send a clearer message but also to disclose something of his or her own thoughts and feelings. The importance of this for counseling couples is knowing that the emotional health of children is profoundly affected by the emotional relationship between the parents.

Abandoned Dreams/Under-Achievement of the "Functioning Alcoholic"

Consider the young woman with brains and ambition who wanted to become a doctor. Like many students, she had to take a work break from her studies to earn the money to continue. She worked in a bar, but drinking gradually crept into her daily routine. Now at 50 and four marriages later she’s still working in a bar, her dream of being a doctor a distant memory. She considers herself to be a functioning alcoholic, but is she really functioning when she has abandoned her dream and falls so far short of her potential, is she just getting by?

During my alcoholic period, I did my job and I was a kind loving father. But I never got around to writing. I will never know whether I might have started my writing career much earlier, were it not for the drink. I do know that I never went to any of my kids’ games during my alcoholic period, and I wasn’t even aware of the neglect until it was too late. I thought I was functioning well, but only after I had switched my lifestyle to a much healthier one did I realize how far I fell short of what i aspired to and was capable of.

The point is that addictive drinking leads to under-functioning, and under-functioning people do not live up to their potential and in the end usually quell their dreams.

In my mind, the abandoned dreams and the general underachievement of those who abuse alcohol do not spell “functioning.” They spell serious “under-functioning.”

Whenever I meet a person who considers himself to be a functioning alcoholic, I can’t help but wonder what that person might have been or might have created or might have given, if he or she hadn’t fallen under the spell of alcohol.